As an early tea was taken on Boxing Day, England walked off the field patting each other’s backs and high-fiving.
Ben Stokes had won an important toss and the tourists had bowled Australia out for 152, Josh Tongue taking a fine five-fer. The crowd was a record 93,442, and perhaps 20,000 of them were English. Finally, they had something to cheer – but not for long. Within 10 overs of their response, England were in disarray on a seam-friendly pitch. Here’s the anatomy of a rapid collapse.
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Duckett c Neser b Starc 2
2.3 overs (England 7-1)
It cannot have been an easy week to be Ben Duckett, after he was caught up in the Noosa storm. This, for the second successive innings, was an ugly dismissal. For his first four balls, Duckett had looked steady enough, but then spooned Mitchell Starc horribly off the leading edge to mid-on.
That meant that Duckett, who has been such a reliable player for England over the last three years, averages 14 in this series. The opening partnership has been the bedrock of England’s cricket under Stokes, but has fallen apart. Duckett has looked at times like a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. It was a long, slow walk off.
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Bethell c Carey b Neser 1
3.4 overs (England 8-2)
What a task for Jacob Bethell. He is 22, and has played three first-class matches in 2025. No problem – walk out in front of a record crowd at the MCG and save England. Bethell had come in for Ollie Pope, the fidgety No 3 who could not score even a fifty in his first eight Tests against Australia. Many felt Bethell should have come into the team sooner but here, he was on a hiding to nothing.
He got off the mark first ball to Starc, but it only took Neser four balls to work him over. His half-push forward to a perfectly lined delivery from round the wicket just kissed the edge, and Alex Carey did the rest. There was a moment’s confusion, with umpire Kumar Dharmasena taking a moment to nod and raise his finger, but Bethell knew. There was no review – and England were in deep strife.
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Crawley c Smith b Starc 5
4.2 overs (England 8-3)
Since his pair at Perth, Crawley has largely looked assured, and he was feeling his way into his innings. But Starc angled the ball across him. It took a thick outside edge and was taken smartly at second slip by Steve Smith. Australia’s slips, generally so much more reliable than England’s, were standing a little closer on a slow pitch, and reaped the benefits.
Brook’s swish
4.3 overs (England 8-3)
Harry Brook’s first ball, from Starc, was more than 90mph. He moved to the legside, stepped out of his crease and had a huge heave, trying to send it over cover for six. Brook missed, and the crowd gasped in disbelief. It was a scarcely believable stroke, but Brook was not deterred: in his breezy 41, he landed a power-fade over mid-off for six, and played a series of other lavish strokes.
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Root c Carey b Neser 0
7.6 overs (England 16-4)
Brook was streaky, but showed serious intent. Joe Root, on the other hand, tried to weather the storm. He dug in, but could not get off strike. After 14 dot balls, he left his crease in the hope of manufacturing a run. Instead, the relentless Neser’s nip kissed his outside edge and Carey did the rest.
England’s top four had combined for just eight runs. That is the fourth-lowest total England’s top four have managed in Test history. As a statistic, it was an emblem of their disarray.
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