Chris Woakes called it a “one-percenter” and England teams need every drop of help on Ashes tours. The fact this one does not start at the Gabba could be just one small advantage.
The Ashes thrives on its history but money and modernity have seen the Gabba pay the price of losing hosting rights to the opening Test of the summer.
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It must be a relief to touring teams not to be stepping out at a baying “Gabbatoir”, a venue renowned for its bloodlust and intimidation. Ringed by Vulture Street and sat in Brisbane’s industrial area, the Gabba is an unforgiving place, a graveyard of hopes and dreams for many England teams.
It scarred generations of cricketers. Len Hutton was broken by his decision to bowl first there in 1954-55, although did recover to stage one of the great Ashes comebacks. His successor almost 50 years later, Nasser Hussain, has never lived down repeating Hutton’s mistake in 2002-03. In 2006-07, Steve Harmison’s first-ball horror to second slip was the precursor of a 5-0 whitewash, the first since 1920-21. Mitchell Johnson terrifyingly set the tone for the series in 2013-14 by knocking English blocks off and four years later at the Gabba the Jonny Bairstow headbutt stitch-up by the Australian media emerged during the game to spread panic in the camp. Perhaps most startling of all, was Rory Burns losing his leg stump to Mitchell Starc first ball of the last series.
Steve Harmison bowled the first ball of the 2006-07 series to second slip which set the tone – PA/Gareth Copley
The scorebook is one-sided too. England have not won in Brisbane since they were inspired by Ian Botham’s last Test century in 1986-87, which was only their second victory at the Gabba since 1936. Until India beat Australia in Brisbane in 2021, they had not lost there since 1988, and that was against the great West Indies side of that era.
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The Gabba still awaits England. It will host the pink-ball second Test and in time the Perth-Brisbane one-two may be an equally brutal opening. But now the series begins at a new venue for England, the Perth Stadium. It is a classic modern, multi-use venue that most recently hosted a Metallica gig and resembles every other new-build stadium.
It is a mini version of the MCG, without its cricketing heritage. Its 62,000 capacity is more than double any cricket ground in England and bigger than football’s Anfield and the Emirates. The first three days are sold out.
The Perth Stadium offers more comfortable facilities for fans but a less intimidating atmosphere – Shutterstock/David Woodley
And while England may well be relieved not to start in Brisbane with its oppressive humidity and reputation, their Perth form is equally inglorious. In 14 Ashes Tests in the west, England have recorded just one victory, against a Packer-hit Australia in 1978-79.
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Is that record relevant? Those Tests were all played on the other side of the Swan River at the Waca, another venue that thrived on reputation rather than facilities.
The Perth Stadium has a 10-year hosting agreement to stage the first Test of the summer. The city has turned it into a West Test festival, and boasts the big chain hotels to house the travelling England, or India, supporters that pack it every two years.
Built at a cost of 1.6bn Australian dollars (about £780m), the stadium has every mod con to make the paying spectator comfortable as they scroll on their phones and sip on craft beers. With a gigantic concourse that runs around the bowl, supporters are never more than 40 metres from a food or drink outlet. The 1,000 television screens means they will not miss any of the action if queuing up for smashed avocado on toast.
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The stadium complex built on the Burswood Peninsula includes sculpted parkland criss-crossed by running and bike tracks. It is connected to the city by its own six-platform train station and a pedestrian bridge over the Swan River allows supporters to walk to the ground. It even has its own microbrewery, which is also Australia’s largest pub with a capacity of 2,500.
The drop-in pitch is now said to be quicker than the Waca, and planted with the same black soil. The net facilities are pristine, partly because they are rarely used because Western Australia are still based at the old ground. The nets are said to have the same ferocious pace and bounce as the ones at the Waca.
Like Perth’s older cricket ground the Waca, there should be plenty of bounce on offer for the bowlers – Shutterstock/Richard Wainwright
The one major difference, and it may be relevant this week, is the Fremantle Doctor, the cooling ocean wind that relieves everyone of the heat in the afternoon. It does not blow across the closed-in stadium like it did at the Waca with its grassy banks and low stands. Instead, any wind that does get through swirls around and it can be hotter than playing at the Waca.
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Brisbane City Council is said privately to be happy with the arrangement. Holding the second Test is easier for ticket sales because it falls in the school summer holidays. The Gabba is now down at fifth in the Australian pecking order and broadcasters like starting in the west because it means the final session is on prime time on the east coast. It is good PR for the game and advertisers for the Test summer to begin with healthy viewing figures on the more populous side of the country.
The Gabba was also in a state of uncertainty when the long-term schedules were arranged. There was talk of knocking it down and rebuilding for the 2032 Olympics in Brisbane. Instead it was decided to spruce it up for the Games. After the Olympics it will be demolished and cricket will move permanently to the new Olympic Stadium in Victoria Park; the Gabbatoir will be no more.
Something feels wrong about starting in a comfortable but sterile arena in Perth with its corporate sponsor’s name. Mobile phone network giant Optus is the ground sponsor, although not this week because it does not have a commercial deal with Cricket Australia. The Optus signs were being unscrewed as the Australians trained on Monday.
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The Gabba may be ugly and unloved but it had an allure. It was a morbid fascination watching how England cricketers would cope with it. “Australia have a great Ashes record at the Gabba so if I was them I’d want to be playing there first up,” said Woakes last week. “Perth is quite extreme in terms of the bounce and pace so it’s not an easy place to start but it’s certainly surprising that they’ve given up that ‘Gabbatoir’ factor. As an England player, knowing you won’t be going there first where there’s a bit of baggage is a definite bonus. You’re always looking for those small one-percenters.”
Time will tell if it’s a one-percenter for England or just a continuation of the same old story.
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